What should I choose? - Peace or Exciting?

The family value has put great effect on me since the early childhood. I love my Dad, and that is one of the reason why I hate my Mom whenever she displeased any member of my Dad's family and that seems to insult my Dad as well.
I blamed my Mom of living an uneasy life, dishonest life, especially in collecting money.

Then I grown up and got married.

Then I suddenly saw.

If my Dad earned enough to feed us, my Mom would have not been like that. I guest now all her faults are being active, fast respond and sometime too hot tempered. Deep down inside I think she is a good person too, she loves Dad much enough to change herself adapt with living style from Dad's big family.

I always see her acting like a girl, quick and libertine. When we were small, that means whenever Dad is away, we will have to take some kind of cakes for meal time instead of normal meals. I got used to that. And now I feel painful seeing her sometimes having to pleased people. That is not her. We her kids, all like watching her acting freely, caring herself and ignoring trivial bothers (from neighbors, from cousins), she could make us laugh, cry, angry, mad but she is hardly make us sad.

Dad's family had been in my mind as an unique union, Dad's sisters have been always noisy and happy outside, they talk much, laugh much, care much about others. I had been always happy seeing them, hurry inside to pleased them as much as I can.

But now, I realised something different, I realised it seems 1 have to sacrifice so much to keep that community united. Sometimes they care about others so much that beyond the boundary of an outsiders and hurt the insiders. The way they care seems to be mean sometimes. I still love them I guess, as when I wrote this I still feel bad inside. But this morning I stood up against their way of caring deeply into my family with their mean, I blamed them of creating fight inside my family once there is conflict between my Mom and my Dad, all they do is telling my Dad instead of discussing with my Mom and make things worse. I blamed them hardly and at the same time I feed bad and good together. I feel bad for the first time in my life telling them those hard words, and I am more like my Dad than I thought, but at the same time I feel good for standing for my Dad and Mom's family, I realised that Dad and Mom need eachother more than those cousins when they grow old and I realised how selfish they were when they united to fight with my Mom. I felt sorry for my Mom so much and above all I did not regret any about my words even those hurt my uncle as well as hurting myself at the same time.

I feel more good than bad in this, and now I wonder who is me? - A nice lady always trying to please people with well educated attitude or something else, stronger, harder, sharper and feeling good about it?